One sentence to bust your micro-manager tendencies for good

Many years ago, I was at the supermarket with a friend. I was helping to load the groceries onto the conveyor. You probably know... everyone has different ‘rules’ about how this should be done. I realised that I was getting in the way of my friend’s process, so I apologised, and said “I’m sorry, I’m doing it wrong aren’t I!”.

Her response: “It’s not wrong, it’s different”.

What a profound thought. Let that sink in a little. It’s not wrong. It’s different.

It's a powerful statement because it removes the need to control. For me, it helps me to put my strong, micro-manager, perfection tendencies back in the box.

Over the years, it's become my mantra as a manager. I've said this not only to myself, but to other people when they apologise for doing something differently. I find it helpful because it allows me to recognise that ‘there is more than one way to skin a cat’. It allows me to appreciate that while others do things in a way that is different to mine, the result will be achieved - and sometimes the results are actually better.

It doesn't stop me stepping in at times to make a suggestion if I think it will help – like suggest using keyboard shortcuts for efficiency or implementing best practice principles to ensure quality – but on the whole, this simple sentence helps me to take a brief moment to reflect. It helps me to sit back, watch and think to myself “It’s not wrong, it’s different”. It's become a little self-check that I make before I step in.

I’ve also used it as a check for myself I'm on the verge of apologising for doing something in a particular way. I’ve stopped myself because really, I don’t need to apologise – it’s not wrong, it’s just different. And that's okay.

This simple sentence empowers me to let go, but it also empowers my team to do things in a way that works for them.

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